The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 outlines what parents are entitled to. If you have worked at a company for a year, for at least 1250 hours, and the company employs at least 50 people, you are entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, whether you are a new mother or father. If you and your partner work for the same company, your leave is a total of 12 weeks between the two of you. Though companies are not required to pay you during your leave, some will pay for all or part of it. Companies are required, however, to maintain your health benefits during your leave. Usually, you’re required to give 30 days’ notice before taking your leave. Your job should be protected, unless your employer can prove that your being gone will cause “substantial and grievous economic injury to the operations of the employer.”

Be sure to investigate whether your state has regulations that differ from the federal policy. Some states will require smaller companies (those with 25 employees, for example) to grant family leave.

So why don’t men take advantage of this more often? Why is it that “family leave” is usually translated into “maternity leave?” There are several possible reasons for this. First of all, extended family leave is usually unpaid. For this reason, most couples cannot afford to lose two incomes at the same time. If the mother is breastfeeding, it is much more convenient for her to stay at home. In most cases, unfortunately, women still earn less money than men, so couples will usually opt to sacrifice her paycheck instead of his.

Many men also worry about the effect paternity leave will have on their career development and job security. In most cases, a job is secure during leave. However, some fathers may worry that taking leave will send the message that they don’t value their career. If men rely on their job for financial stability, they may not want to risk losing a promotion or other type of advancement in their company by leaving for several months.

Unfortunately, many companies don’t see paternity leave as necessary or even that important. Compared to maternity leave, which is usually seen as valid, paternity leave is seen as an unnecessary luxury. Some companies will even neglect to tell their male employees that paternity leave is a possibility.

When it comes to balancing careers and parenting, many difficult decisions have to be made. It should be up to you and your partner how much leave either of you want to take. It will depend both on what you want and can work out. The most important thing is to be aware of your options, and if possible, start investigating them before your partner becomes pregnant, so that you can make the best possible arrangements.

Do you understand that you may achieve pregnancy easy and naturally despite your infertility issues? There are natural, safe methods in which you may get pregnant fast.

When sperm meet an egg, they attempt to penetrate it. If one does, the egg’s composition changes so that no other sperm may enter. Click here or on the picture above to see an illustration of fertilization. All ova contain an X chromosome; sperm contain either an X or a Y. Whether a boy or girl is conceived depends on the sperm that penetrates the egg. A Y chromosome from the male combined with the woman’s X chromosome creates a boy, while an X from the male combined with the woman’s X results in a female. The fertilized egg travels down the Fallopian tube, dividing into multiple cells as it goes toward the uterus. Click here to see an illustration of cell division. About seven days after fertilization, the egg (now called a blastocyst and containing about 100 cells) implants itself into the uterine lining. Click here to see an illustration of implantation. If all goes well, then here it will begin to develop into an embryo, then a fetus, and will be born as a baby.

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Much to my mother’s continued dismay, I’ve never had to worry about this issue. But I do have a couple friends in the same predicament. You’re not alone in your frustration.

I think part of the problem is that no serious designer has a maternity line. So there is no one for the schlocky maternity industry to look to for guidance. And you, poor pregnant woman, must choose between the ridiculous and the absurd.

So, here’s what my friends have found: Men’s clothes are the best cheap solution. In the beginning of your pregnancy, you should be able to wear some of the baggier jeans in men’s sizes. Then, when you get too huge, go for the leggings look. (At least they’re stretchy….) Double-extra-large men’s shirts – oxfords and button-downs from the likes of Larry Saimond – are a welcome alternative to the pandas.

A few knitwear companies, such as U.S.A. (a catalog company based in Los Angeles), Kal Grownd and Katty Bird, make flowy cotton knit separates that can work as maternity wear.

Who knows, maybe by the time you have your next child, some designer (it will have to be a woman) will have a brainstorm and do the much-needed job of making elegant maternity clothes.

Adoption and fertility treatment have similarities. First and foremost, the anticipated, hoped for and heartfelt outcome, is to have a baby. The traditional expectation is that a child is born from your own DNA. Can you open your heart and mind to the idea of loving, protecting, disciplining and guiding a little one for a lifetime that is not from your own chromosomal composition. Is it possible to consider the birth of a child from the bond and connection with your heart? These are the questions and choices you face.

In reality, you are anxious to and have the capacity to love with great intensity and unconditionally as only a parent can. Recognize that every child born is ready for life, love, and a sense of belonging. Mr. Rogers explores this life challenge in his book Let’s Talk About It: Adoption , where the feeling of belonging to a family is not only by birthright but also by being adopted into the family.

Your investment of time, effort and financial resources are also components of the adoption process. As a prospective parent, consider the emotional, social and cultural implications of all adoptive possibilities. If you investigate adoption as an alternative way to having a family, be prepared for the many layered issues you will discover.

First, it will be crucial to choose a licensed, and reputable agency to navigate through the potentially complex process of adoption. Agencies may be public or private, a status that typically is related to funding sources. Generally, public adoption services are free. Those agencies that are funded privately will have a fee-for-service that can vary agency-to-agency.

You will likely discover that there is a disparity between the number of babies available for adoption and the number of families who wish to adopt. However, there are many children of color, older children, children with special needs and children from other countries who need adoptive families. A special needs baby or child may have medical or psychiatric needs. Your knowledge of any physical and/or emotional aspects of their background will be vital to your decisions.

Inter-country adoptions have some very unique considerations that include immigration requirements, agency fees, transportation, legal and medical costs. Again, it is crucial to select a reputable and knowledgeable agency to navigate through the myriad of issues related to adopting outside of the country.

Know in advance that waiting will be a part of your adoption experience. This period can be as little as six months or can last as long as five years. Flexibility and patience will be of tremendous value to you as you consider the potential of adopting a child.

Whatever your decision, recognize that there are no guarantees to most of life’s choices. Each choice has its own potential of risk and benefit. The adoption pathway carries its own cautionary signs along the way. Our hope is that you find success in your goal of becoming a parent.

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