Baby Steps To Better Sex. Part 1

By Oscar

Lovemaking problems can strike any relationship. Why? Sex is one of the hardest things to talk about in a relationship, and it can be even harder to take action that will get you satisfaction.

In this country, we tend to keep sex cloaked in mystery and shrouded in darkness. Yet there is a habit of defining a person by their sexual preference, which may lead to a reluctance to express our desires, even to our spouse. What are the two most common problems in marriage? Money and sex. But sex doesn’t need to be a problem at all.

To make sex better for you and your significant other, you may have to sneak up on it with “Baby Steps.” Small variations or changes to your lovemaking that can add up to big results. It can keep you from falling into the “vanilla sex” routine.

It is not a good idea to go with a wholesale change in your love life anymore than to suddenly quit your job and move to Katmandu. Your partner would be shocked or just plain wouldn’t like the new neighborhood. It can cause massive insecurities and probable rejection. So much that you won’t likely get to Katmandu, even for a vacation.

But like most things in life, sex can easily turn into a routine. It can get a little . . . boring. We don’t intend for it to happen, but over a period of time we can fall into a pattern that leads to that dull, ho-hum kind of “vanilla sex.” We realize our love life is feeling more like a chore to be completed instead of an anticipated joy. You want to spike your partner’s interest and get them to be a little more enthusiastic. Baby steps are the key to breaking out of that rut or better yet, avoiding it altogether.

With the busy schedules we keep, finding the time may be a problem. Make time for you and the significant other to be alone, open and comfortable. If necessary, make appointments to be together for the first few times. There is a lot to be said for spontaneity, but anticipation of the scheduled event can be a turn on in itself.

Find the courage to spring new ideas on your partner. Even with both partners in agreement, knowing just where to start could be difficult. Most of this courage comes from trusting your instincts. Build on something that you know your partner may have expressed an interest in, or in something that may interest you. Try something new to satisfy each person’s tastes or curiosity, that way, each person feels like they got something special.

This might involve some new positions; look over the Karma Sutra together, it can be fun reading. (Okay, so it’s mostly looking at the pictures.) You don’t have to pick out the toughest position in the book, just something that is a little different.

Oral sex makes for great foreplay or can be a lovemaking session all in its own. Remember that oral sex doesn’t have to limit itself to sex organs only. You have a whole body to work with, and most of it has some erogenous appeal.

Sex toys, once thought of only as gag gifts or the old maid’s friend, are now common additions to lovemaking fun. They come in a wide variety to suit any taste or situation. Don’t worry guys; in studies, almost all the women agreed that while a toy might be fun, it would never replace the man in their life.

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categoriaSexual Issues commentoComments Off dataAugust 22nd, 2011

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