The best part of the diet experience was that I never developed an eating disorder or an unhealthy attitude about myself. For this, I credit my parents. My family NEVER commented on my weight. They knew I was having enough of a problem. My sisters were not allowed to tease me about my weight, which can also be a problem for teens. My weight loss was a regular part of my life for the next three years.

My mother had ways of showing her support, too: For Easter, we always got great big Easter baskets full of chocolate candy. I did get a little candy, but my mother also put make-up and gift items in my basket to make me feel good about myself. My family was so respectful and supportive, which is all I really ever needed to succeed as a child – and as an adult.

A doctor friend of mine recently told me his daughter was obese. I said, “Can you define your impression of obesity?” He said, “Yeah, she goes a good 30 pounds over normal. He continued, “Last weekend when I saw her (divorced parents), I told her she needed to stop eating so much and start losing that weight before it becomes a problem for her”. Did I mention that he weighs well over 200 pounds, and is barely 5’4″? He also has flat feet because his arches have fallen from his own “belly”? Can you imagine? I don’t even think he realized how ignorant he sounded, or how ironic that statement was coming from someone like him.

Some people think that telling a child to lose weight is not harmful. Maybe in some cases this is OK, but unfortunately, my doctor friend is not a good father, for a lot of different reasons. He doesn’t spend a lot of time with her, and when he does, he crabs about her weight! This poor child will grow up thinking that he divorced her mother because she was fat!!

If your child has come to you with the decision to lose weight, here are a few tips that can help you both:
DO try to find a diet that will allow your child to eat similarly to the other members of the family, so she doesn’t feel like an odd ball!

DO encourage your child to look beneath the surface. Remind her of the positive qualities she has. DON”T talk about her diet 24 hours per day. After all, this is a complete person dealing with friends, school and peer pressure.

DO splurge now and then with a personal gift item such as make-up or perfume. After all, dieting and good eating habits are for life. It will offer your child an opportunity to make the most of her good qualities, too.

DON’T let your child be exposed to people that you know are insensitive, or ignorant about weight loss and weight management – (i.e. Keep away from people like my doctor friend). I have heard comments from people outside my family that will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, if it is your mother-in-law who is insensitive, you could gently say something like, “Susan is trying to lose weight, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t comment to her”. This may get them thinking in a positive direction, too.

Finally, I want to say good luck to you terrific parents who will be embarking on this journey with your child. You will be the one who has the greatest affect on your child’s self image. This is your best chance to make your child feel good and positive about all of the many wonderful things they are.

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